Feb 17

Parenting with chronic fatigue

Posted in Life Rambling

Parenting is exhausting. What do you do when you have extreme fatigue and illness dragging at you?  It is easy to tell yourself, “just one more thing” or “I’ll figure a way to make it happen.”  Then you have the pressures from our loved ones. A child not understanding why mommy can’t come out to play.  A husband who just came home from work and doesn’t understand why dinner isn’t done.

Are we failing in some way? In many ways? I sometimes think that.  I always think “I should….”  or “I could..”, “If I was super mom I would”  I call it the ‘oulds. Those things that didn’t get done that leave you feeling guilty.   Are we super women? No,  sadly we are not and despite what the TV would have you believe neither is the next door neighbor.  So revel in your lack of a cape. Let go of the guilt. The Lord has no intention of you sitting on your bum crying for one of the ‘oulds!

So you have fatigue problems. I do too and it can destroy a day. While sick this past winter I was able to get from my bed to the couch. That was it I slept for the day. Not well, with that type of fatigue sleep no matter how much you sleep it is never enough.  I was only able to relie on  my hubby to take over the kids. When I had to tell a child that I was too tired I always hugged them and asked them to pray for me. I told them the truth, that I wanted to get up but mommy’s body was too tired.

Children can better wrap their mind around a problem if you give them a solution. I told them to pray. My children love God and believe that the Lord will heal me. That was something they could trust in.  By hugging them and letting them know that I wasn’t happy too. The situation became mommy is not sleep because she wants to but because she is sick.

Be open with your husband and  tell him how you are feeling. Don’t expect his ESP to pick up on your slumped shoulder or cough to let him know. My hubby always tells me to talk to him and try to be precise. Like are your legs jittery? For him I believe it is because he is a fixer. Present a problem and he works out a solution. Most men are that problem oriented.

Even if you are left without the energy to help with the house or other normal “wife ” duties. Try to uphold your Biblical wife duties. That is to support your husband. Be of a mild, joyful manner so that he is uplifted by your very presence.  Together a wife and husband are incredibly strong even when one is sick. Think why else would Satan be trying so desperately to destroy that which God has put together. He knows that two in Christ are ten times stronger and will grow stronger as time passes.

Chronic fatigue is a limitation but it is not an end to a quality family life.  Take time to enjoy your children. Let them know how much you can do in advance, such as mommy can play cards with you but I can’t go to the park. Talk to your husband be clear and loving. Trust that he will protect and help you through you troubled times. Uphold him so that he knows you will support and encourage him at all times. Trust in the Lord.

God bless

The Looney Lupie Lady!

Feb 16

Medical Monday: Chronic Fatigue

Posted in Medical Monday

Chronic fatigue the plague of millions of people with long term illnesses.  Chronic fatigue is more than a passing tiredness. This is a bone deep, life altering, more than 6 months long fatigue.  There is also a difference between chronic fatigue or chronic fatigue syndrome.  I suffered from bouts of fatigue most of my life not truely understanding what was happening to me. I was often told by others, or by little nagging voice in my head that all I needed to do was push through the tiredness. If I only got up and moving I would be fine. Now that I have some clarity as to what was happening to my body I realize that pushing through a bout of chronic fatigue was not possible.

Fatigue happens to all of us at some time in our lives. The tired, weak feeling you get after the flu.  This should be transient and get better after the problem has been corrected.

Chronic fatigue is a more persistant fatigue. It lasts more than six months.  Often this will be the result of other diseases like lupus, rhuematoid arthritis, or fibromyalgia.  The fatigue is often the result of sleep disturbances, chronic pain and depression.  This is a vicous circle the lack of sleep causes more pain and depression which causes more lack of sleep. Yikes now I know why at the end of the night I feel like I was boxing a kangaroo.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is persistant fatigue plus other medical symptoms. To be diagnosised with CFS you must have:

-fatigue that lasts more than six months

-substantial memory or concentration impairment

-sore throat

-tender lymph nodes

-muscle pain

-joint pain with or without swelling

-headaches of new type or pattern

-unrefreshing sleep

-aching after exercise lasting more than a day

Treatment of chronic fatigue is based around finding the cause or causes and removing as many as possible. In the end though many cases of chronic fatigue are there to stay.  There are some medications that are used to help with sleep particularly Anti-depressants, Cymbalta, Savella, and Lyrica.

There are also some alternative methods that can help.  Try a warm bath before bed use aromatic oils or candles if possible.  Talk your hubby into a gentle massage. Use a white noise CD to tame the odd noises that can awaken a light sleeper.  Try to exercise moderately several times a week.  Okay so I don’t get that one often myself, but I do find that if I stretch out before bed it helps with the night time cramps.

Chronic fatigue is real! You have a medical problem that needs to be treated and monitored.  Go gentle on yourself. The Lord has a plan for you where you are today. He knows your limitations and He know your strengths.

Psalms 62:1

My soul finds rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

God bless friends, my your day be filled with the Lord’s grace and beauty.

Heather L